I'm trying this new thing, among many other things I'm trying at the moment. The thing is, I think this thing will help me get the most out of all the other things I do...
Yes, I'm avoiding saying the word. As soon as I say "Hey, I'm learning a lot practicing this idea of mindfulness'', you'll recoil from me thinking I'm about to launch into a speech about helping other people, being kind to the environment, blah blah, don't waste water showering.
It's not like that at all! At its core, mindfulness is actually really selfish, but not in a bad way. Read on, please!
I'm a part of a test group with 40 other people helping a woman called Jane do her PHD. Jane has a degree in Law and Psychology, and she's one of those pretty impressive people who seem to have it all together.
After my first session with her, I'm beginning to realise that not only does she have it all together, she can teach me to have it together too!
Being mindful is the act of being in the moment. Wait for it... (and think back to the second paragraph here), it involves meditating. Not the smelly hippy kind, the 'Hey, I'm a busy person who has a lot of things to do, but sometimes can't get them all done in a day so I'll meditate to de- clutter my mind' kind of way.
So, for a week I have to take two minutes out of my day and meditate. That's it. I let the thoughts come into my mind, accept them, and then go back to concentrating on my breathing and being in the moment.
Would you believe it works? Already I'm seeing an improvement in my mood. It's helping me be more patient, and pay attention to things that I'd normally multitask around.
Oh yeah, multitasking. That's another myth. When you multitask and move from one task to another, you're actually becoming about 40% less productive as your mind takes tome to move from one task, switch gears, and start another.
But sticking to a task requires this amazing skill that not many of us have. The ability to use our willpower to delay gratification.
Jane talked about this thing called 'the marshmallow test' that was undertaken at Stamford in the 70's. They got a bunch of four year old kids and stuck them in a room on their own with a marshmallow. They were told that if they could wait 15 minutes without eating that marshmallow, they could have another one when the test was over.
Needless to say, only one in four passed the test.
The interesting part for me came when they checked up on these kids when they were 18. That 25% who managed to delay gratification were doing great at school and in life. For the other 75%, the results weren't as good.
Let's put it this way. How many Monday's do you manage to stick stringently to your diet? Then what happens during the week?
I'm willing to bet that on a Monday, you're ready to atone for the sins committed on the weekend by not drinking booze and eating well (I'm basically describing myself here). Then by Wednesday or Thursday, you're thinking 'I've been so good all week... a little treat won't hurt', or you're so tired one night that you can't be bothered cooking so you go out and get takeaway.
Here's the ah-ha moment. Your reserves of willpower are depleted. You know that by not treating yourself, not buying takeaway, you'll feel better the next day and the scales will thank you for it. But you do it anyway.
Humans are wired for self gratification. We do the things that are bad for us to get the immediate gain, instead of waiting, putting pause on our appetites, and making the decision that will help us in the long run.
So, that's what I'm doing at the moment. Training myself to delay gratification. Instead of coming home and watching The Vampire Diaries, then being disappointed with myself because I didn't write that blog post, I'm going to write the post... then watch The Vampire Diaries.
I get to do two things that I want to do, and feel happy. Instead of one thing, and be stressed.
See if you can try it, delay gratification. Wait ten minutes before making that choice that isn't good for you. Give your mind the time to catch up and realise what your body is doing.
Be smart busy, not crazy busy. I guarantee you'll feel better for it.
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