I can’t quite remember the exact point where I lost my Christmas innocence. One Christmas I was happily opening presents and sitting down to a whole table full of food spread out for me to eat. The next, I had RESPONSIBILITIES.
Cooking, decorating, cleaning, and making sure everything was perfect became a part of my December. Like I said, I’m not sure the exact date it started, but my internal self feels a visceral increase in stress levels when the clock ticks over to December 1 and the ‘fun’ all begins.
This year was different, however. This year I learned about mindfulness and my whole world changed. They could teach a whole class around how to be mindful around Christmas, both for your wallets and your peace of mind.
So, here are my Top 3 Tips on Christmas Mindfulness, and I’ve managed to alliterate them. My inner Grammar Nerd is happy.
The day will sail by too fast if you’re concentrating on what Aunt Ethel could have possibly meant by her sneer at the gravy. Aunt Ethel probably just has a bad case of Resting Bitch Face and looks at herself like that in the mirror every morning and your gravy is fine.
And even if it isn’t, don’t stress. A bad gravy does not a bad day make.
That way you won’t snap at Grandpa and tell him to get off his arse and get his own f@ck!ng beer, but instead tell him politely that you are stuffing the innards into a turkey and he knows where the fridge is (the old twat).
I’ve been guilty of the attitude that spending more money means you care more. It doesn’t. More often it means that the giftee will have an even larger present that they don’t like and have no use for to get rid of.
Don’t be the bad gift giver, be the thoughtful gift giver. You don’t want to be the topic of a talk back radio show one day.
While we’re on the subject of stories you’d call into a radio station on ‘Bad Christmas Gifts’…
I once received six cans of deodorant from someone who shall remain nameless. While the gift itself had negative connotations (I immediately sniffed my armpits), and was very obviously a snatch and wrap from The Reject Shop, I used every one of those cans of deodorant.
I didn’t have to buy any more deodorant for almost a whole year, but to this day I still sniff my armpits before opening a present.